{This is a Feel Good Post}

I thought it was normal. Honestly. I thought it was healthy to be competitive. I somehow, however, found myself tipping the scale of competition and resenting my sister and beautiful friends. People I adored but somehow felt jealous of them. It didn’t make sense. In my most natural, abundant state such a sin of comparing myself to another would not be even be a thought, but somehow it was.

I really did not know how to stop doing this. Honest. I wanted to stop, but had not clue how. I shamed myself for feeling that way. I belittled myself thinking that either I was above someone or I was under them. In my mind there was no level playing field, and the sense of enough was a foreign concept to me.

So, how to stop? How to stop feeling like shit when I was jealous of another, or thought was better than another?

First, I had to forgive myself.

Super cheese, I know, but oh so effective.

I had to use the words of Jesus (yup, you heard it, I am quoting Jesus!) “Forgive them for they know not what they do”, except they was just me.

I had to forgive myself & stay open to a new way of being a witness to someone’s beauty, success, and plain ol’ brilliance. Although I did not know how, I had to start with forgiving.

Second, I had to be honest.

I had to be real with myself. These women were showing me that there was something I wanted. I wanted to embody something they had: whether it was beauty, success, great relationships, money. I wanted what they had, and I did not know HOW TO attract it.

Being honest allowed me to clarify my desires.

Third, I had to make it about me.

Seriously, this jealous thing, or any sort of comparing, had nothing to do with my sister or my friend. It was all about me!

It was about what I wanted, and this woman in front of me brought me what I needed to focus on but did not realize. See, when my friend shows me her beauty, I get to clarify that I want to radiate as she does, and although I get to admire her, at the end of it, it is about what she stirs in me.

And by making about me, I get to bless her. I get to thank her for giving me the gift of clarifying a (sometimes hidden) desire.

Fourth, I had to remember that I am enough.

Not only that, but also that there is enough for everyone, and everyone deserves to be supported in their beauty, success, great relationships, and heck even fashion style!

Fifth, I had to own my unique expression.

It was not enough to just copy another person because I admired something in them. This journey of deprogramming my comparing habit, involved a heavy dose of uncovering what is beautiful, wonderful, unique, and a gift within me.

Falling in love with who you are may seem like a stretch, but in a sense that is exactly what you do when we walk these five steps.

Compare yourself to no other. The world needs you just as you are. And hell, if you want something you don’t have, make it about you, love your girlfriends and those you admire, and keep the focus on uncovering your authentic gorgeous self.

Blessings,

Asha

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